I have heard it said a few times before, “You must have 12 years experience before anyone will take you seriously.”  They believe that without experience you aren’t qualified. 

Well, if you are constantly looked at as underexperienced, how do you ever get the chance to become experienced. 

What I have come to understand is that there are two quotients involved with becoming successful/qualified/experienced - Desire + Experience.  Too many times people look for Experience first and then Desire in qualified people, but if you look in that order you will find only 1% of the populations is qualified.  But if you look for Desire first, you will find a person willing to ‘Undergo’ the Experience. �

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A friend of mine told me a story the other day of a recent interview she had.  She had been looking for an edge, or maybe just a slightly open door to work her way up the corporate ladder.  For years, she had been networking and sending her resume at every chance.  Finally the break she needed appeared. 

After exchanging greetings with the hiring authority, the manager said, “So you are looking to move up and want a promotion, eh?”

 “Absolutely!  Doesn’t everyone?” Expressed my friend. 

The manager looked at her and said, “Not everyone.” 

Many people are looking for an edge. They invest their time in a ‘top dollar’ education, outward appearances, networking, or anything that may help them emerge better than others.   They are their very own ad agencies and continually launch new campaigns. Everyone is seeking the magic formula that will lead to success. The more competitive the field, the more relentless the search.

Do you want to know the secret to moving up and getting to the top?  When the executive team raises the question, “Whom shall we send? Who will go for us?” Be the first to stand up and say, “Here I am. Send me.” 

Nearly everyone, if asked if they would like a promotion would say, “Yes.” However, few will actually do what it takes to get there.  They look for the handout or the short cut.  They look for the entitlement.  And, those approaches will fail every time. 

What is the key to success? I believe . . .

1. Vision/Determination
2. Work ethic/Willingness to exceed expectations
3. Leadership/ Because everything rises and falls on leaders

Most of all, it is being the one who stands up and says, “You can count on me.”

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Today my daughter, Lexi, is turning 17 months, which is 1yr 5mo old. What is the proper way to say a child’s age?

In honor of this day, I wanted to share a few life/leadership lessons I have learned from her.

FEAR Is A Learned Response

I like the way motivational speaker Paula White calls it, “FEAR is just False Evidence Appearing Real.”

Now, I am not suggesting that we do not have any ‘fear’ in life. Obviously, if you were hiking in Alaska and a Grizzly Bear charges you, having FEAR can save your life, and in that case, it would be positive.

At 7 months, she could walk with the aid of my fingers. Her favorite hobby to do every night for hours was to walk up the stairs. At the top she would slowly turn around and face down. It was almost as if she was preparing like a Giant Slalom skier in the Olympics. Then with the power of Bode Miller, she would press off and run down the stairs at a rapid pace. Then giggle hysterically when she reaches the bottom.

When her grandmother saw this she about had a heart attack. It was perfectly safe, but there is an element of danger, if dad trips and somersaults down the stairs daughter in hand. But, unless grandma teaches her it is dangerous, she will never be the wiser.

Lexi is fearless. If she could talk she would just say, “Dad. FEAR is just false evidence appearing real.”

We Do What We See

My daughter watches my every move. She doesn’t really understand my verbal language completely, but she understands my body language perfectly.

Every night I place her in my arms at 7:30 and go upstairs to spend quality time with her and rock her to sleep. It is my favorite time of day.

Recently, she has discovered dolls, and has one she is particularly fond of. The other day I caught her in her room when she thought I was not watching, rocking the baby in her arms and then softly placing her on a pillow and covering her with a blanket.

I think, I had better watch my behavior, I want her to grow up sweet and strong and as a positive influence on others, and what I know is this: what a leader does well in excess, his or her followers will do in moderation. However, what a leader does poorly in moderation, his or her followers will do in excess.

More important than the lessons I teach her, is the life I lead.

Those Closest To You Will Determine Your Future

We have all heard this said a million different ways: Birds of a feather flock together, or those closest to you, will determine your potential.

My daughter is a social butterfly, even at the age of 17 months. She loves to hang with other kids, especially if they are in the 4-6 age range. However, here is what I have noticed.

When Lexi is playing with kids who are nice and well behaved, she rises to the occasion and behaves as they do. When Lexi is playing with naughty kids who run around and cause destruction, she behaves at their standards, and as a result gets in trouble.

Life Should Be Fun

I am ashamed to admit there were times I was aggravated with life. I was not happy with my job, not happy with my finances, and I was basically not happy with anything. I was always one-step behind where I wanted to be. Than I had my daughter and everything changed.

“Happiness is not having what you want; it is wanting what you have.”

My daughter helps me see this more clearly. She does not know what is out there in the world that she is missing. She only knows what she does have, and she is elated with that. She laughs at everything, and life is just one big playground and adventure to her.

She runs over and watches the ants in the yard as they are awakening from the excessively long winter nap here in Colorado, and then she runs over and smells a freshly bloomed flower. Holding my hand and leading on her journey. But - my favorite moment is when she looks at me a smiles with her big gapped tooth smile, seemingly saying, “Dad. Life is Good.”

She made me realize that sometimes you really should stop and smell the roses.

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There is a reason he’s considered a genius.

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I like to read blogs from Gen-Yers. I partly read them because there is such an abundance of them. I also read them because Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers do not typically blog. However, I search out their opinions for wisdom, and if I do not find it online I buy their books.

Mostly, I read Gen-Yers blogs to learn from their perspective. To see things from another’s point-of-view (POV).

My dad use to say to me, “Son, always walk a mile is someone else’s shoes. Because then you will learn from their perspective and, if you want, you’ll have a new pair of shoes.” My father is a wise man. Jeff Foxworthy, he may not be.

Let me give you a little background for understanding on where I am coming from. Depending on who you ask, I am either the last of the Gen-Xers or the first of the Gen-Yers.

Like so many other Gen-Yers, I blasted out of college and thought I was going to change the world. Look at me world. Here I am! I laced up my running shoes and bolted for the door. However, just like to birds in the Windex commercial, I found the glass had been freshly cleaned and I abruptly slammed into the sliding glass door window. Life had given me a good dose of reality.

I read a blog post this morning by a fellow blogger, Ryan Paugh. It is titled, Why I Won’t Regret Blogging Ten Years Later. I enjoy reading Ryan’s posts. He has really good perspective, and is a creative writer. Mostly I enjoy reading his posts because I have seen him mature and grow, and he has a very bright future ahead of him. I cannot say that for all the Gen-Y blogs I read.

After reading Ryan’s post, I thought I would offer two pieces of advice to Gen-Y based off a few common themes I read throughout various blogs.

Ryan raises a very good point when he says that he is put off by people who, “… think age and experience always trump a solid, well thought opinion.”

Let me tell you first hand, The young and the inexperienced have a vast amount of knowledge and information. Many times it is the youth and inexperience that makes them such good ideas.

I think what Ryan is saying is that experience does not always mean you have the most knowledge, and that even the young and inexperienced can have good ideas. He is right.

Don’t ever stop asking questions. What many young adults are trying to say is, “Hey, just listen to me and give me a chance. I believe you will be pleasantly surprised.” Everyone wants someone to simply listen.

Sometimes Age Comes Alone

I wrote a blog a while back that was motivated by an older gentleman who said to me, “To be old and wise… One must first be young and stupid” He was offended because I called him out for saying one thing and doing another. He was embarrassed and tried to insult me by saying this.

His comment suggests that if you are young and stupid, and you hang in long enough, you will arrive and grow wise with age. That quote, however, can be misleading and one day a person can wake up and find that life has left them behind.

Growth is not an automatic process. You do not go to bed at night, lay down, fall asleep, and wake up the next day a little farther ahead than you were yesterday. Nothing is to be expected and no one is entitled to anything.

Growth needs to be a daily process if you are to mature and become wise, and one way to grow is to offer your ideas, test them, and see if you can give them wings.

Age and experience are not the end-all-be-all. Dr. John Maxwell, a leadership expert and trainer says it like this, “Age does not necessarily mean someone is mature or experienced. Age and experience are not the best teachers. Evaluated experience is the best teacher.” (SideBar: If you are looking for leadership material, check out Dr. Maxwell. He is the best in the business)
If you do not have enough experience, borrow from someone who has Evaluated Experience. Learn from them, evaluate their experience and make it your own.

There Is No Such Thing As A Helicopter Boss

This may come as a surprise to many, but I believe helicopter parents have done a huge injustice to their children. They have poorly prepared their children for the real world.

You, me, our friends – we are not the center of the universe. The world does not revolve around us, as our parents did. We are not entitled to anything. Like all those who came before us, the cream rises to the top, and if you are not the cream you will not rise to the top.

Learn to live by the world’s rules, and if you don’t like it – start your own game. When you play in someone else’s game you play by their rules.

When you go into the workplace, you will find there is no such thing as a helicopter boss. He or she is not going to revolve around you catering to your every little need.

Gen-Y wants to achieve credibility and trust, but they attempt to demand it.

You do not achieve credibility or respect by demanding it. Nor do you achieve it by bending the rules to be in your favor. You achieve credibility by delivering on someone else’s expectations. If you want to impress someone, over deliver on his or her expectations; not your own.

If you believe you are entitled to something, YOU ARE WRONG. You earn it. Some call it paying your dues. Dues can be paid slowly or, for the bright-ones, the dues can be paid quickly. You choose which path you want to take.

Here is the issue with thinking you are entitled. When I first entered the business world it was not my ambition or passion to become a leader that turned people off. It was my tone. And my tone stemmed from my belief I was entitled. I learned because of this attitude people perceived me as arrogant, and this held me back for a short time.

Today I realize I am not entitled to anything. I still have the same passion and ambition. The difference is: I understand I have to work hard for and earn the respect of others, and that makes all the difference in the world. It will move you from being perceived as arrogant to confident.

Do you want to be listened to? The truth is no one wants to listen to a know-it-all, arrogant little brat.

If you want to get ahead and be respected as a young adult, perception is everything. If you are not getting what you want, maybe, you are sending a negative perception of yourself.

Think about it.

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[The following is a short exerpt from my forthcoming book, The Modern Leader: 8 Rules For Tomorrow’s Top Leaders, due to be released later this year.]

Leadership training professionals such as A.L Williams call it being a ‘Two Percenter’; Dr. John Maxwell declares it being a ‘Champion, and Mark Sanborn would call you a leader with a ‘little l‘. All of them would be referring to becoming a master motivator.

A master motivator is someone who excels at illustrated leadership, a term I use for leading by example. It is simply the greatest motivator of all time. Without the need to say a word, leaders can effectively influence others. They understand that a person’s perception of you is driven by your actions and are constantly developing their motivational skills.

Actions are the magic ingredient to making leadership better.

I have found that people want to do business with companies and individuals who follow through with their Core Values, not merely print them on their website or claim they are values they hold. They live them daily.

One day, I needed to have some work done on my wife’s wedding jewelry. I took it back to the store where I had purchased it. Like so many other businesses, they had their ‘Customer Dedication Policy’ proudly displayed on the wall. However, it is not what I could see but what I was not supposed to see that keeps me doing business with this jeweler.

On a back-office dry erase board, a hand-written note expresses the essence of a master motivator brilliantly. It simply read, “Every job is a reflection/self portrait of the person who did it. Autograph your work with excellence.”

The sign got me thinking, “Do I autograph my life with excellence?” A leader’s mark of excellence is not what they say but what they do. There is no better way to display illustrated leadership than letting your actions paint a self-portrait of yourself.

[Exerpt from The Modern Leader: 8 Rules For Tomorrow’s Top Leaders. Due to be released Late 2008. Helping leaders find their voice of influence. Gen-Y to Baby Boomers will love this candid look at being one of tomorrow’s top leaders.]

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This post is dedicated to how the little things add up.

I was fortunate enough in my youth to grow up with a father who was a financial guru, and instilled in me some very useful qualities regarding finances. In fact, one of the most useful is simply being smart with money.

I risked everything and purchased my first home at 23. Shortly thereafter, I began investing any additional money I saved in my 401k or mutual funds. At the time, I really did not see the benefits, but now only a few years later I can see the why my dad always taught me to save and invest.

I remember our family financial model was built on the Rich Dad Poor Dadplatform or The Millionaire Next Door, long before there were either. My siblings and I also lived under a hood of Micro-saving that included extreme measures such as enjoying one McDonald’s cheeseburger, sharing fries, and drinking water while all the other kids ate happy meals. Am I any worse off for it today? Not one bit, in fact, that lesson has been enormously valuable especially in the current economy.

Right now, it does not matter whether you are a low-income earner or Warren Buffet everyone has their eye on the United State Economic future. With constantly rising gas prices, the sub-prime debacle, Wall Street bailouts, and constant bombardment of an impending recession it can be a little overwhelming.

After enjoying a few years of financial pleasure, my wife and I struggled in 2007. Her business is dependent on a strong real estate market and Denver, where we live, was one of the hardest hit with foreclosures and collapsing market values. Our income significantly reduced and our savings diminished. As we crested the mountain that was 2007 and gazed towards the horizon for a sign of a break in the gloomy financial weather, we could see nothing by black clouds on the horizon. One thing was clear; we were going to have to take measures into our own hands.

I remembered the lessons my father instilled in me and a comment I once heard, “If you want to change, you are going to have to change something you do daily”.

One thing I love about the internet is how easy it is to let your bills and money take care of themselves by having your salary directly deposited into your account and all of your bills and investments automatically deducted from your checking/saving account. However, this can have its drawbacks. If you do not pay attention to your bills, you may be spending money un-necessarily.

Last month my wife and I sat down to Micro-scrub our spending habits and the result was what I call Micro-savings. What is easy to overlook is how the little things can make a big difference.

The following are three areas I recommend scrubbing to potentially put more money in your pocket without sacrificing a thing.

Utilities – Take a look at your utility bills. Are they unnecessarily high or are you paying for features that are un-necessary.

One example would be, my wife and I saw that we had two cell phones used for almost all our calls, and a landline that was being un-used. So we canceled the land line and saved.

Last year we also moved our cell phone plans from individual carriers to a family plan on one carrier. However, we did not know how many minutes we were going to need. Not wanting to pay overage charges, we chose the 2000 minutes a month plan. After allowing some time to gauge our usage, we have accrued over 10,000 roll-over minutes. So, we have cut back our cell phone plan to 1400 minutes and saved.

Do you have any other utilities that you can cut back on without sacrificing use? Look it over, I bet you do.

Amenities – These are what I consider ‘Special Spending’. Items that just make you feel better such as memberships, subscriptions, or pampering that are going unused?

For my wife and I, once we found out we are expecting our second child she was not going to be using our gym membership as frequently as before over the next year. So, we put her membership on hold and saved. In addition, I canceled subscriptions to magazines that I really was not reading. Besides I can get the same content from their website and SHHHHHHH, this is a secret, it is free.

Do you have amenities that you could cut back on, change to a new program, or remove that would save you additional coin?

Self Disciplined costs or ‘Risky Business’ – the final cost cutting plan has to do with areas that take extreme discipline or the willingness to accept the consequences if you blow it.

They involve your insurance deductibles on home, renters, or auto insurance. One area I took into consideration was my auto deductible. Insurance professionals do not recommend ever making an auto claim on anything under $1000.00 so why not raise your deductible to $1000.00. Yahoo has a great article on this for more info.

The risk is that if you have to make a claim it is going to cost you more out of pocket. However, if you are a safe driver you could potentially save money.

After everything was all said and done, my wife and I have saved quite a bit of money. Money we were simply giving to the billing companies. Since we do not have any debt, we are going to reinvest that money and put it to work for us. You may be able to do the same by Micro-scrubbing your bills improving your financial outlook by Micro-saving.

Now here is my last suggestion, which may draw a series of boos from the crowd. DO NOT SPEND THAT MONEY ON FRIVEROULOUS ITEMS! It will be very tempting to blow that money; however, I recommend using it to pay down debt or investing it in a mutual fund, 401k, or IRA.

Finally, here is where I may sound like a commercial, but it is true – Talk to your financial advisor to find out the right option for you.

Having money will not make you happier, but not having debt will.

This is a good basic budget worksheet to help get you started. Or this one from Fidelity

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What makes someone a leader? Are they hired for a position of authority, and the Leadership Fairy pays them a visit and sprinkles magic dust on them? Do they start a business, hire a couple of employees, and suddenly stars instantly align and shine directly on them. (Think - Tim Robbins in The Shawshank Redemption) Or, is it that your actions cause others choose to follow and support you?

This is the first thing you need to know about leadership, it is not a title you call yourself; it is a title you earn.

Most people make a conscious decision to be a leader like Rebecca Thorman the executive director at MAGNET. She is young and raw and very talented. She is eager to make a difference in the world so she has hurled herself head first into the Lions Den. What makes her stand out is she is willing to do what it takes to become a great leader.

Some are pushed into leadership, but make the necessary adjustments to a great at it.

Then there are others who jump in, confused about what it takes, and, as a result, remain stagnant and struggle.

I have a friend who has a few blind spots. My friend has the potential to be a great leader, but like so many others, inluding myself, he struggles with the Five Fatal Flaws of Leaders.

Insecurity – A leader who is insecure should never become a leader, or a person of authority for that matter. Their leadership style is characterized as Authorocratic, which is nothing more than a polite way of saying you are a tyrannist.

Insecurity causes a leader to make poor choices. They are so afraid to show their blind spots that they will go to any length to hide them. This causes them to distance themselves from their inner circle, pushing them further into isolation.

Trust – Trust is the single most important trait a leader can possess. An inconsistent leader is expedient at best – meaning they are guided by what is advantageous and self-serving. In my opinion, there is nothing more dangerous than an unethical or immoral leader.

Inconsistency – Employees do what they see modeled. It is purely that simply. When you say one thing and do another you become inconsistent. The result is that it reduces your credibility. Employees are far to smart to follow an inconsistent leader. The strongest leaders are those whose actions influence first.

Pride – the greatest enemy of a leader is their ego. Have you ever heard, “Pride comes before the fall”? Pride in a leader has two consequences:

1. It distances you from your supporters. Because you think you are better than they are you place yourself on a pedestal above them. Then you lose touch with your people.

2. You believe you can never fail and this disallows you from being able to look at yourself with a critical eye. The lens by which you see yourself and others becomes distorted. You begin judging yourself by intentions and others by their actions, and leaders who see life this way are more concerned with Who Is Right; rather than What Is Right.

No Personal Growth – As a leader it is very important to understand that your supporters can only learn what you learn and go as far as you go. Furthermore, great leaders understand whatever they know; they have not always known it. This drives them to see more, do more, and learn more. Always ready for whatever is thrown at them and willing to adapt and change quickly.

Have you ever heard the comment, “It is lonely at the top?” Any leader who has ever said this is not a leader. If you are lonely at the top, no one is following you. As one expert said, “The real test of leadership is: If you had no ability to reward or penalize others, could you still get them to follow you?”

Unfortunately, for many self-described leaders, if their employees did not colleted a paycheck, no one would be following them.

Do you call yourself a leader? If so, rate yourself in the areas mentioned above honestly. No one is watching or listening. Then think of ways you could improve your blind spots and watch your Leadership Value improve.

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I bet when you read the title you said it the same way Clint Eastwood says it in Dirty Harry: Sudden Impact.

The real power of that title is not hid behind a Smith & Wesson model 29 .44 Magnum. It is found in the reality of its attainment.

I am not by nature a mean person. Some day’s I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed or I allow something to affect me negatively. Ruminating on it instead of shrugging it off. I replay the incident in my head over and over resulting in a bad attitude.

To make matters worse, I often store it in my back pocket and use it as ammunition to self-justify when someone finally calls me on my unkindness. This very destructive habit can cause you to lash out at innocent people.

It is not that I am bad really. It is just that I have a practice of handing off my bad attitude by poking fun at or possibly insulting someone else. The good news is that it can be broken.

One of my personal goals in 2008 is to work on my attitude and kindness. Right now, I would rate myself at 7 out of 10, which is far better than I would have rated myself in the past, but I still have a long way to go. At a minimum, I should be operating at 8 out of 10.

I am not sure why we do it really. It seems silly and immature. Psychologists would say that we poke fun or insult others because of “displaced aggression or the kick-the-dog effect”. You have a bad day at work so you pass-the-buck to someone else in an attempt to feel better, but in reality with each insult we are micro-fractionally lowering our own self-esteem further.

Whatever the reasoning, I recognize this behavior to be unhealthy and unproductive, and certainly not becoming of a leader. That is exactly why I am working on changing. I read an inspiring story the other day that sparked an plan. Let me share with you the story.

Late one night while traveling in an unfamiliar city, Tony Campolo wandered into a diner where the only customers were a group of prostitutes. He overheard one of them say that tomorrow was her birthday. The next night he came back with a cake and a sign that read, ‘Happy Birthday, Agnes.’ Campolo said, “the door swung open and in came Agnes…never have I seen a person so flabbergasted. Her eyes moistened…and she started to cry.” Tony Campolo made her day.

I realized from this story that I have the ability to make someone’s day. Regardless of their outward appearance, outward emotional appearance, or my poor attitude. Without spending a dime, I can improve another’s day and possibly mine too.

After reading the Campolo story, I decided to pay a compliment, at the very least, to one unsuspecting person every day.

That evening, as the day was winding down, I had yet to make someone’s day. My wife and I had gone out to dinner and stopped off at Office Depot on the way home for a few supplies.

As we were checking out I noticed the cashier was a little shy, soft spoken, and introverted. In a way, she reminded me of the actress in the hit TV show Ugly Betty. I noticed her nametag said ‘Rebekah’. It was spelled a little differently that the traditional ‘Rebecca’.

I looked right at her and said, “That is a beautiful way you spell your name. It makes you very unique.”

Her face lit up as she said, “THANK YOU!” Then she became a little embarrassed and quickly looked down again. I couldn’t help but notice her facial expression never let go of that bright smile as her hands now danced as she counted back our change.

If you are like me, and I hope that you are not, many times you wait for someone else to treat you right before you treat him or her right. Or worse, you hand off your dirty laundry to them in an attempt to make yourself feel better.

Don’t wait! Be the first to brighten someone’s day and you will be amazed how good it makes you feel.

Mark Sanborn, author of You Don’t Need a Title to be a Leader, says in his book, “You don’t help others when you feel good. You feel good when you help others.”

Great Leaders often lift others and raise them up to join in life’s celebration.

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This is how I spent my past weekend…

I am shooting a short film with a friend of mine and my wife for us to show our children and grandchildren when we are crippled from our adrenaline inspired youth. 

This is a clip I took at Beaver Creek Ski Resort this past Saturday.  It was filmed in the Stone Creek Chutes.  The drop is greater than 25 feet.  He dropped a 40 foot face later this weekend when we went hiking in the backcountry.  That shot will be featured in the film.

Click here if you cannot see the video below: Beaver Creek, Colorado

Check it out and then stop back this spring to see the entire film.  

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My Brother emailed me just this picture the other day.  I printed it out and taped it to the wall above my office desk and it got me thinking…

… and I just can’t get it out of my mind. 

Which one are you, the lion or the gazelle?

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[In CELEBRATION of the release of the Audio Version’s of my book, all copies of Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship are ‘On Sale’ for a limited time.  Plus - get a FREE eBook copy with the purchase of the downloadable MP3.]  

Today, I am releasing the audio version of Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy to a Real Relationship, the popular book for men on how to develop an outstanding romantic relationship. 

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Some of my best memories are from when I was a radio DJ.  I worked my way up from the early morning graveyard shift to a job in commercial radio, and it was during this time I learned a lot about people, business, and myself.

Here is how what I learned will help you: 

Be True To Yourself

You can please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time – but never both. 

My introduction to radio came when I was working at our school’s Television station.  The radio station manager, Laney, watched one of my shows and suggested I do double duty in radio as well.  She said, “You have a good radio voice and we have an opening for a DJ.”  I gave it a little thought and accepted. 

The problem was - I did not know how to be a DJ.

Since my first shift on the radio was from 3am – 6am, I was certain that no one was listening.  If they were, they were only listening for the music and not any of my commentary.  So, I started to try on different personalities like they were clothes.  I went through more personalities than Beyonce does wardrobe changes at one of her concerts.

My frustration must have showed because Laney called me into her office.   I remember exactly what she said to me, “James. People like you just as you are. That is why I asked you to be on air.  Do not try to be someone you are not.  Be yourself, and you will be just fine.” 

Those were inspirational words.  Once I quit trying to be someone everyone would like all the time and just started to be myself, both the show and my confidence improved.

Lesson Learned: Do not try to change who you really are, it is what makes you unique.

Know Your Audience

As soon as I began to progress and gain confidence behind the microphone, a very sought after specialty show position opened.  Friday nights 8-11pm.  I was given the position.

I also was very nervous.  This was a popular timeslot because, in a college town, Friday night meant tons of parties, and I was responsible for the musical entertainment.  We took things very seriously because we were rated the Number 1 radio station in the listening area, and this was competing against major market Denver commercial radio stations. 

This audience would be so much different from my 3am audience.  But, it was my job to know who would be listening and what their agenda was.  If I understood who was listening then I could meet their needs.

Lesson Learned:  Never walk into a test without doing your homework.   

Take Risks

I write in my book, Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship, about how important security is for relationships. 

In radio, being secure means having a solid listener base, keeping them listening, and not making a fool out of yourself.  However, when you take a risk you create margins.  The truth is, security is not freedom from risk, but rather it is freedom to risk. 

By my senior year, I was a full time DJ.  It was a far cry from my weekly ’specialty show’.  Where was I going to come up with material to fill so many shows? I thought for awhile, and remembered something a mentor once told me.  When you do not have alot of experience borrow from those that do. 

One morning, I was walking down the hall and our new, quiet, yet extremely personable station manager, Ryan, was walking towards me.  I thought  he would compliment me when, without slowing down, he said, “I heard your show today.  It sounded a lot like so-and-so’s show, and I think he is dull.” 

Wow! What a blow to my ego.

I then worked hard to come up with original material.  When something worked well, I would add it to my arsenal to use again later. 

One day, I had a great show. Feeling good about myself, I was walking out of the studio when in walks Ryan.  He said, “Heard your show today.  You said the same thing on last Thursday’s show, and I thought that one was boring too. Take some risks already.” 

Ryan was not trying to be ugly; he wanted me to get out of my comfort zone.  I took some risks, and in the end, taking risks allowed me to produce a widely popular show. 

Lesson Learned:  Sometimes without risk, there is no growth

Review Your Progress 

To some, the hardest thing a DJ has to do for the first time is speak to the large listening audience, all of whom are invisible to you.

For me this was not the case.  While pressing the on-air button for the first time scared the hell out of me, the hardest thing for me to do the first time was review my show. 

Every time I hit the On-Air button, I taped myself on what we called ‘the skimmer’.   Once a week all the DJ’s would meet, review, and analyze each other’s work.  It was uncomfortable, because you knew you would have to replay those bad moments you hoped no one heard. 

However, every time I did this my show would improve and I would sharpen my skills.   

Lesson Learned:  Some say experience is the best teacher.  I say, Evaluated Experience is the best teacher.

Believe In Yourself

There is a fine line in show business between being cocky and being confident, but the one thing I know is that having confidence in yourself will get you further.

What is the difference?  Cockiness comes from walking into a situation unprepared, failing, and learning nothing from it.  You can witness this on American Idol when the judges tell someone they just do not have what it takes and the auditioner yells what an a$$7o!3 Simon is.

Confidence stems from preparing to the best of your ability and giving an authentic performance.  Confidence does not mean you succeed everytime, but it gives you the ablility to learn from your mistakes and improve.  Without confidence, you will simply defeat yourself and never reach your desired goal.  However, with confidence, you will be able to reach your goals. Because you believe in yourself. 

Confidence is what gives the audience a reason to believe in you. 

Lesson Learned: You have to believe in yourself before anyone else ever will.

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Yesterday was my birthday.  It was a day like any other.  I try not to make big deals out of my birthday; although, my wife loves to stretch it out. 

Today I had coffee with a friend of mine, and he showed up a few minutes late.  Apologizing for the delay, but he had a minor traffic infraction on his way for failing to full stop at a stop sign.  (I had always been told the ones with the white borders are optional ) 

We had a good converstation and then had to get on our way.  He had a 11am conference call and I needed to get back to the office.  I grabbed a coffee for my boss as I ran out the door. 

I was driving past Coors Field, home of the NL Champion Colorado Rockies.  Well, sitting caddy corner to the field is a motorcycle traffic cop and a few of his closest friends radaring folks as they come up to the traffic light in front of the stadium.  Makes it kinda convenient to write a ticket. They were so good they could almost do it before the light turned green again. 

Well - he caught me, and the other 3 cars who were driving in a pack together.  Bummer. 

I was polite and handed him all of my registration and license info while he quickly wrote out the ticket.  I think he was attempting to race the light for amusement, as I thought to myself, “This is going to be one expensive cup of coffee for my boss.” 

And, as he was handing me the ticket he says with a crooked little grin on his face, “Happy Belated Birthday.  If it would have been today I would have let you go.” 

“Thanks!”

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Delays are a part of business.  No matter how much you kick and scream, sometimes you just have to work through the delays. 

My goal was to have my audio version of my book available a few months ago, but it just was not to be.  Some of the tracks became corrupted, and a few more became lost.  But, nevertheless, the audio version of Developing a Million-Dollar Relationship: A Man’s Strategy To A Real Relationship is very near production ready, and I am very excited. 

Check back soon and you will find that the much anticipated MP3 and Audio CD will be available for purchase at very special prices. 

Hope you have a great day.  -James

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